Prepping for a colonoscopy is not necessarily the most enjoyable thing in the world. Sure, you get feeling that you have effectively power washed your digestive system but it is much more beneficial. Why?
Because you get ANSWERS.
What is a Colonoscopy?
For those who do not know, colonoscopies are simple procedures that involve a doctor to look directly at your colon from the inside. As you may have guessed, it is done by using a rather invasive camera “right up Main Street” (Deadpool 2016) and look around. Once the remote control camera is inserted, the doctor maneuvers it through all parts of the colon taking photos and biopsies if necessary. The goal of the procedure is to determine the condition of your colon health as well as identify any abnormalities inside. FRET NOT COMRADES, for you are unconscious and frolicking in dreamland during the process with anesthesia. More often than not, you have the IV inserted, the doctor asks you to count down from 100, then, by the time you get to 97, you are out like a light. The whole procedure lasts about 30 – 45 min and is completely painless.
While prepping for my colonoscopy, there is a lot going on. Physically, I have to stay on a ‘clear liquids’ diet, drink the laxative prep, poop as often as I can, and make it through the day feeling sluggish and hungry. Mentally, it is “a whole new world” (Aladdin 1992). With hunger, anxiety about the results, fear of the unknown, and constantly wondering if my life will change for the better or worse takes its toll on my mind.
I have been waiting and preparing for this day for a long time. After dodging the phone calls and letters from my old doctor telling me I am months overdue for my next colonoscopy, I can’t run anymore. I prepared for the last couple months by changing my entire lifestyle to promote healing of my colon. I have sacrificed habits and luxuries of my former self to focus all of my energy into one thing.
With all of this swirling about in my head today, I sit and wait. Waiting to find out what all of my efforts have lead me to. Wondering if it was worth it. Wanting so desperately to hear the words:
“You have healed from an incurable disease.”
I can and I will.
It reminds me of a rather unconventional phrase I said to a good friend going through a tough time:
“Every day is just as long as every other day.”
Pretty stupid right? I mean, yeah I’m not wrong but what a dumb thing to say while comforting someone right? I thought so. Up until today.
Sitting here writing this blog article I have realized that while time continues to move forward at the same pace, what you focus on determines how long or short it feels. It’s such a cliche concept but when you really think about it for a while – and have a lot of time on your hands to do so – you start feeling all philosophical about it all.
I believe what I was actually trying to say, most ineloquently, was:
“…for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2, Page 11).
SHAKESPEAR BOIIII! Ok, moving on.
For instance, I can continue to focus on how hungry I am right now, counting the minutes until the procedure is over, or that this process just really sucks. Doing so would not only make time seem to drag on endlessly but it will also drain what little mental and physical energy I have left and make me feel even worse.
I can focus on the idea that this is a great thing for me. My colon could use a break from digesting the massive amount of food I shove into it and I finally can get some answers. Additionally, why not be productive with my time and keep my mind occupied with projects and maybe even writing this blog? By centering my thoughts around this idea of conquering the day rather than being defeated by it, I feel a sense of strength, direction, and power.
I know what I am doing is right. I have done the research and have taken action accordingly to heal my body. I will receive what I have worked for. “Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost” (Full-Metal Alchemist 2001).
I have put in the work, made the sacrifices, and paid with blood, sweat, and tears…and…uh…poop. I am ready to reap what I have sown.
My trials and tribulations have led me here. Now I sit, waiting patiently for my triumphs.
Stay thirsty, my friends,
*BONUS: One of my favorite songs by Parson James called Waiting Game. Basically sums up how I am feeling right now. Give ‘er a listen, eh?